Trapped by Pregnancy, "Used" by your "Body's Owner." Spousal Rape is Real!

"Slavery has never been abolished from
America's way of thinking."
- Nina Simone

Today, I was contacted by a good Christian woman who had been reading my articles on “Abortion.” She told me that she has been married to a man for only 3 years. Never in my life have I wished more to lift my hand in vengeance, against this woman’s husband.

At first, the relationship was fulfilling. He treated her with respect and love. He would call her to check in from work. They would date regularly, going out to eat, seeing a movie, and take trips to destinations unknown.

After their first year of marriage, they decided to have a child. He stuck by her during the pregnancy. He would go to her OBGYN appointments. They would take pregnancy classes together. He was everything she expected.

But, when she gave birth, things changed. Her husband started to complain about how she was spending more time with her child than with him. He started making demands in regards to cleaning house, and making sure meals were ready for when he came home.

“And I really did try, Daniel. I was still healing from my C Section and it was a bit painful. It was hard enough for me to adapt to becoming a mother, I was just settling into being a wife. I never realized he emotional toll that my mother went through.”

She developed a routine where she would play with the daughter, to tire her out, and then put her to bed while she made dinner.

It started when he would call and tell her that he would be late from work. He was a shift supervisor, so she could understand the responsibilities his job would entail. As her their relationship progressed, he started spending less and less time at home. There was always business meetings and friends wanting to hang out. She understood that he needed to have a life, outside of the family.

One evening, it was brought to her attention that her husband has been seen around town with another woman. He was seen at the movies, in Applebee’s, and even together at the Lobster Festival. When she brought it up to him, they had an argument. He became aggressive towards her.

He said things like: “Don’t I work hard to provide for you?” “How do you expect me to feel, you never have time for me!” And “You better shut up and get back in your place, Woman!” Then he left, to be with his “friends.”

It was when he came back later that night when her experience became a nightmare. The smell of alcohol was on him, and the resentment he held before he left was still fresh in his mind. They argued, like any couple would in this situation.

What happened next is what broke my heart.

As she relayed to me her experience, she broke down into tears. She told him that she is miserable in their relationship.

At that point, her husband proceeded to throw her on their bed and force himself on her. There was no love in his actions. This was ownership and domination in the strictest sense.

She began to cry out and plead to be left alone:

“Daniel, the more I cried, the more I struggled, the more he seemed to enjoy it. He was no longer the kind and gentle lover I once knew. He did not care if he was hurting me, I was just some toy for him.”

After he had left, she spent the night alone in her room. This beast she had married left the home, to parts unknown. She had cried and her sleep was filled with nightmares. The next morning, she was awakened by the cries of her daughter.

After the traumatic night, her vision of reality seemed unreal. She was not emotionally connected.

“It was like I was watching life happen, as a viewer. I was going through the motions of being a mother but I could not make an emotional connection with anything, not even my baby daughter.”

She was distraught, she sought the advice of a woman she knew from church;

“Honey, that is what happens sometimes. That’s what it means to be a wife. You just need to understand that, and make the best out of the situation.”- quoted from my friend

The next afternoon, her husband sauntered in, like nothing happened. He came home from work, she had dinner ready. They continued to live as if nothing happened. They no longer talked, laughed, or loved each other like they used to.

“At least we kept up appearances.”

A few weeks later, they were eating supper the phone rang. Her husband answered it. After a brief conversation, he hung up the phone. Upon his lips, he bore a message that sunk her deeper into hopelessness;

“I guess you won’t be leaving me anytime soon, you're pregnant.”